- Freaking out when there’s an unreasonably large arachnid in your craft.
- Paddle splashing a fellow paddler. Nobody likes a paddle splasher. Nobody.
Losing, forgetting or forsaking your life jacket.
- Texting and rolling.
- Standing, jumping or trying to do the Macarena. Get a SUP or one of those sweet fishing kayaks.
- Fitting two butts where there’s only a seat for one … unless you want those butts in the water.
- Fishing for the Loch Ness Monster or any creature of that caliber. If it’s bigger than your craft… do the physics.
- Thinking one spray skirt fits all. It can be a complicated purchase. Be patient.
- Adding ‘thunderstorm paddles’ to your lineup of ‘full moon paddles’ and ‘sunset paddles.’
- Sharks, alligators and other man-eating water dwellers.
- Getting in a tandem with someone you dislike.
- Packing your lunch in a paper bag.
- Waterfalls … unless you’re an intense whitewater paddler whose into those sorts of things.
- Visiting the Sahara Desert.
Kayakers, try to avoid …